UCBW

UCBW Pay-Per-View preview: WrestleSlamMania IV

Make reservations now! Only 14,000 seats available!

UCBW fans, by now you know that for over three years, you have been able to count on the UCBW to bring you hot comedy wrestling action each and every Thursday night at CageMatch. Tonight UCBW will present it’s signature show — the grandpappy of ‘em all - WrestleSlamMania IV!  Rivalries have been brewing, and everything will come to a full boil when the full stable of UCBW MegaStars appears in the squared circle!  We’ll be coming at you LIVE on pay-per-view from the world-famous UCBW Arena in New York City. Tensions have been building for two months, and all conflicts will be resolved at the Grandaddy of ‘Em All tomorrow at midnight. Let’s take a look at what’s transpired over the most exciting period in UCBW history.

UCBW CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH:
UNCLE HOLLYWOOD EDDIE (CHAMPION) vs. “THE BLACK PLANET” MARZ (CHALLENGER)

Old friends Uncle Eddie and Marz teamed up in a tag match at the season premiere of CageMatch on February 5th to battle the team of Wall Street and William Burg.  They were victorious in their efforts, but after the match Uncle Eddie shockingly turned on Marz, viciously blinding him in one eye.  In the weeks since, Uncle Eddie has transformed himself into a new Hollywood persona, proud of his appearance as a background performer in the Academy Award-nominated film “The Wrestler,” among others.  On February 19th, after defeating 1980s hero The Blue Bullet, Uncle Hollywood Eddie honored himself with the Oscar for Best Featured Background Performer in a Major Motion Picture.  He also debuted his new manager and agent, Gordy Weinstein, distant cousin of famed movie executive Harvey Weinstein.  The UCBW Champion has been trash talking Marz for weeks, but The Black Planet has been MIA.  This past Thursday, Uncle Eddie thought he was in the clear.  With an unsigned contract, and the challenger nowhere to be found, Eddie would not have to defend his belt at WrestleSlamMania.  But the half-blind Marz made a shocking return wearing an eyepatch.  He attacked the champion, and put his X on the contract.  Tonight, Marz looks for revenge against his former ally as he tries to keep the UCBW Championship away from Hollywood, California.

UCBW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP:
THE FRATERNITY (CHAMPIONS) vs. THE MOUNTAIN MEN (CHALLENGERS)

Since debuting over a year ago, The Mountain Men have taken the UCBW by storm.  Their unique popularity with the crowd has taken even them by surprise, as the Appalachian warriors have become unconventional fan favorites.  On February 12th, Haystack and Hatfield made their intentions known, and challenged the “college boys” of The Fraternity to a match for the UCBW Tag Team Championship.  The Fraternity, on the other hand, have been terrorizing the UCBW for nearly two years and last October at AutumnsSlamn they defeated The Unfukwitables to become new Tag Team Champions.  Despite their cockiness, The Mountain Men’s challenge went unanswered until March 5th when The Fraternity announced they were declining.  The following week, The Mountain Men demanded an opportunity to fight for the belts.  So, Little Brother agreed to a compromise:  If The Mountain Men were able to defeat the champions and The Varsity Boys in a two-on-four handicap match, The Fraternity would put their titles on the line at WrestleSlamMania.  Pulling off the shocking upset, Hatfield pinned Saber while Frat Boy and Little Brother argued with each other.  Despite their best efforts, The Fraternity must defend the Tag Team Championship tonight.

THE KING OF HEARTS (w/ The Jewish American Princess) vs. PU KANG KANG

Pu Kang Kang is the original UCBW MegaStar, the first-ever UCBW Champion, The Polynesian Powerhouse, and most importantly, The Kang of the Rang.  However, for the last year, the UCBW has been home to another King.  The King of Hearts has been blowing kisses to the crowd and intimidating other MegaStars since moving to New York City from Chicago.  On February 12th, after being defeated by UCBW Women’s Champion The Lunchlady, The Jewish American Princess revealed her alliance with The King of Hearts.  With The JAP in the King’s corner, can Pu Kang Kang keep his crown as ruler of the UCBW?

DR. FUJIMORA’S TIME TRAVEL RUMBLE

Dr. Fujimora, UCBW’s resident mad scientist, will host and referee an elimination match featuring a foursome of MegaStars from different periods of history.  Who will emerge victorious from this motley crew:  Representing the 1920s, boxer and rabble-rouser Punchmug; representing the 1940s, Jew-in-hiding Anne Frank; representing the 1990s, sitcom star turned evangelical Kirk Cameron; and representing The Recession, the government bailed out Wall Street.

UCBW WOMEN’S CHAMPIONSHIP:
THE LUNCHLADY (CHAMPION) vs. MYSTERY OPPONENT (CHALLENGER)

Since defeating Rat Don’t Care in July of last year, The Lunchlady has defeated all challengers to her Women’s Championship.  She has even made a short film documenting the friendship she and her title belt share.  But at WrestleSlamMania, The Lunchlady will have no opportunity prepare, and the Women’s Championship will be at as much risk as it has ever been.  Who is The Lunchlady’s opponent?  Will it be The Cat Lady, The Hippie Chick, Mother Nature, or a brand new MegaStar?  Will the trusty cookie sheets and sloppy joes be enough?  Find out tonight!

SUPERMARKET SWEEP MATCH FOR THE UCBW HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP:
“THE GROCER” STEVE GRISTEDES (CHAMPION) vs. MUSCLES MARINARA (CHALLENGER)

Muscles Marinara debuted at last December’s Hanukkaos by defeating Johnny Wimbledon, and had his sophomore appearance on March 5th defeating The Varsity Boys in a two-on-one handicap match.  Steve Gristedes, on a constant quest to shut down the UCBW, has become an active competitor determined to stop comedy wrestling once and for all.  On February 26th, he announced his desire to become Hardcore Champion, and on March 12th The Cowboy answered his challenge demanding an impromptu matchup.  The Cowboy had been Hardcore Champion since I Am Slam lost the title in a triple threat match also featuring The Grocer in April of last year.  This time Gristedes had a secret weapon, The Bagboys, which was too much for the fun-lovin’ Cowboy to overcome.  At WrestleSlamMania, the Hardcore Championship will be defended in a Supermarket Sweep Match with all grocery items as legal weapons, and the winner must dump his opponent in a shopping cart.

REFEREE PAT BAER’S SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT

UCBW official for the past four years, Referee Pat Baer has been nowhere to be found since Uncle Eddie attacked him at the CageMatch season premiere on February 5th.  Rumor has it Baer will make an historic announcement that will shake the UCBW to its core.  Word says he has had enough of being attacked, and will do the only thing he can to prevent it from happening again.  What could the Referee possibly say that would cause such a stir?

CHUCK MCMAHON IS BACK

Fan favorite UCBW owner Chuck McMahon made his first appearance at CageMatch in 2009 this past Thursday defeating Kirk Cameron.  It was announced that Chuck is now forced to compete for cash, because he has lost his entire three million dollar fortune in the Bernie Madoff Ponzi scheme.  Will McMahon wrestle in a match to earn the money he needs to survive?  Rumor has it he will call out Madoff himself to settle the score.

For the FOURTH unprecedented year, UCBW WrestleSlamMania is the most highly-anticipated event in UCBW history, and it is not to be missed!

Make reservations now! Only 14,000 seats available!