See the UCBW MegaStars every Thursday at 11 PM at the UCB Theatre's CageMatch, and special Saturdays at midnight for Pay Per View events.
"If you think that pro wrestling—with it's soap opera story arcs, fake moves and silly costumes—couldn't be funnier or more ridiculous than it already is, watch it get mocked by these UCBT performers."
—Time Out New York
"The WWE is pretty hilarious on its own, but the UCB Theatre’s wrestling federation, the UCBW, pays such good attention to the details of the genre, it feels less like a satirical mockery and more of a hyper-hilarious homage to the dramatic sport. It’s impossible not to get caught up in their hysteria."
—New York Press
"The price of admission gets you a whole seat, but you only need the edge."
—Flavorpill
To submit a MegaStar application, please e-mail UCBW.info@gmail.com.
Training video featuring Coach Lacombe & Uncle Eddie’s Fat Wife shown at last Thursday’s CageMatch on 10/8/09.
Watch Coach Lacombe in Uncle Eddie’s Fat Wife’s corner when she competes in a Stepladder Match against her husband one week from tonight at UCBW AutumnSlamn! Tickets on sale now!
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UCBW CageMatch: 10/1/09
Steve Gristedes opens the show discussing his upcoming Food Fight Match with The Lunchlady at AutumnSlamn, and a match against a debuting MegaStar later that night.
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UCBW CageMatch: 10/1/09
Steve Gristedes vs. Panda (debut!)
with a surprise appearance after the match!
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This week on CageMatch, “The Grocer” Steve Gristedes will step inside the ring with a brand new very angry (and very cuddly) UCBW MegaStar. Beware of Panda.
Tonight, UCBW CageMatch returns from a one-week hiatus. Earlier this week, The King of Hearts (accompanied by his associate, UCBW Women’s Champion The Jewish American Princess) opened a challenge to the entire UCBW locker room. That challenge has officially been accepted by one brave UCBW MegaStar. Find out their identity tonight at UCBW CageMatch! The show is sold out, but we will admit many comedy wrestling fans on our standby line at the UCBW Arena.
Leading up to tonight’s show, the leader of The Royal Court has been presenting his own unique sex advice column all week long. Here is the final entry.
Dear King of Hearts,
I’m a 24 year old man and I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about three months now. Whenever we go out, she never offers to pick up the check or even go dutch. I end up paying for everything! I want to treat her, but it’s breaking my bank account and I worry that she’s using me for money. I don’t want to be considered ungentlemanly. How can I broach this subject with her?
Sincerely,
“Todd”
Dear “Todd,”
Based on your statement that your relationship is “breaking your bank account” I can infer that you are not from a noble family with a large inheritance. Therefore you are not from a family with superior genes. Therefore you should kill yourself. If you aren’t some sort of royalty, you aren’t anybody, and you shouldn’t exist.
Go pee in the woods and kill yourself,
KOH
The Love Lounge #1
The Love Lounge #2
The Love Lounge #3
The Love Lounge #4
The Love Lounge #5
You can continue sending in your own romantic conundrums to be solved by The King, please e-mail UCBW.info@gmail.com.
Tomorrow, UCBW CageMatch returns from a one-week hiatus. The King of Hearts (accompanied by his associate, UCBW Women’s Champion The Jewish American Princess) is set to open a challenge to be accepted by one brave UCBW MegaStar. Leading up to this week’s show, the leader of The Royal Court will present his own unique love advice column. Here is the next entry.
Dear King of Hearts,
I am 18 years old and have the best boyfriend in the world. The problem is, he’s older than me. Significally older. Like, 20 years older. He’s been on this earth more than twice as long as me! I know that it shouldn’t be a big deal, and in the past it hasn’t been, but for some reason now it’s starting to bother me and I don’t know why. I mean, he’s almost 40! Am I shallow? What should I do?
Sincerely,
Cradle Robbed
Dear Cradle,
In the wild, when predators hunt their prey, they usually target one of three things: the elderly animals, who isn’t a fast as it used to be; the baby animals, who are too stupid and inexperienced to escape; and the sick animals, who are weakened by their ailments. This helps ensure that natural selection takes place, and that the strong survive. It sounds to me like your relationship encompasses all three of these types of animals: he’s old as fuck, you’re young and stupid, and you’re both sick for dating that far out of your age group. I suggest you both do the world a favor and help speed up the process of natural selection by killing yourselves.
Go pee in the woods and kill yourself,
KOH
The Love Lounge #1
The Love Lounge #2
The Love Lounge #3
The Love Lounge #4
If you’d like to have your own romantic conundrums solved by The King, please e-mail UCBW.info@gmail.com.
This Thursday, UCBW CageMatch returns from a one-week hiatus. The King of Hearts (accompanied by his associate, UCBW Women’s Champion The Jewish American Princess) is set to open a challenge to be accepted by one brave UCBW MegaStar. Leading up to this week’s show, the leader of The Royal Court will present his own unique love advice column. Here is the next entry.
Dear King of Hearts,
I am a 25 year old man in love. But there’s a problem: the woman I’m in love with has a boyfriend. I really want to tell her how I feel about her, but I’m worried that it’s “wrong.” What should I do?
Sincerely,
Coveting Loveting
Dear Coveting,
You’ve got to tell her how you feel. The longer you let your feelings fester inside of you, the worse you’ll feel and the more the problem will grow. You know how you feel about her and you know what you want: so tell her! By being honest you’ll feel better. Then, when she tells you that she loves her boyfriend more than you, you’ll kill yourself. Then I’ll feel better.
Go pee in the woods and kill yourself,
KOH
The Love Lounge #1
The Love Lounge #2
The Love Lounge #3
If you’d like to have your own romantic conundrums solved by The King, please e-mail UCBW.info@gmail.com.
![FARZ!!
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