See the UCBW MegaStars every Thursday at 11 PM at the UCB Theatre's CageMatch, and special Saturdays at midnight for Pay Per View events.

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"If you think that pro wrestling—with it's soap opera story arcs, fake moves and silly costumes—couldn't be funnier or more ridiculous than it already is, watch it get mocked by these UCBT performers."
—Time Out New York

"The WWE is pretty hilarious on its own, but the UCB Theatre’s wrestling federation, the UCBW, pays such good attention to the details of the genre, it feels less like a satirical mockery and more of a hyper-hilarious homage to the dramatic sport. It’s impossible not to get caught up in their hysteria."
—New York Press

"The price of admission gets you a whole seat, but you only need the edge."
—Flavorpill

To submit a MegaStar application, please e-mail UCBW.info@gmail.com.

Aug 20
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The Love Lounge #6 w/ The King of Hearts

Tonight, UCBW CageMatch returns from a one-week hiatus.  Earlier this week, The King of Hearts (accompanied by his associate, UCBW Women’s Champion The Jewish American Princess) opened a challenge to the entire UCBW locker room.  That challenge has officially been accepted by one brave UCBW MegaStar.  Find out their identity tonight at UCBW CageMatch!  The show is sold out, but we will admit many comedy wrestling fans on our standby line at the UCBW Arena.

Leading up to tonight’s show, the leader of The Royal Court has been presenting his own unique sex advice column all week long.  Here is the final entry.

Dear King of Hearts,
I’m a 24 year old man and I’ve been dating my girlfriend for about three months now.  Whenever we go out, she never offers to pick up the check or even go dutch.  I end up paying for everything!  I want to treat her, but it’s breaking my bank account and I worry that she’s using me for money.  I don’t want to be considered ungentlemanly.  How can I broach this subject with her?
Sincerely,
“Todd”

Dear “Todd,”
Based on your statement that your relationship is “breaking your bank account” I can infer that you are not from a noble family with a large inheritance.  Therefore you are not from a family with superior genes. Therefore you should kill yourself.  If you aren’t some sort of royalty, you aren’t anybody, and you shouldn’t exist.
Go pee in the woods and kill yourself,
KOH

The Love Lounge #1
The Love Lounge #2
The Love Lounge #3
The Love Lounge #4
The Love Lounge #5

You can continue sending in your own romantic conundrums to be solved by The King, please e-mail UCBW.info@gmail.com.

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